Cuba : After

As I alluded to before, returning home after having such a life-shaping experience changed literally everything. The effects are hard to describe, partly because some of my seemingly most stable and set values, beliefs, and feelings about life were so irrevocably altered. These changes I underwent have so completely altered me now, that it is almost difficult to remember what or even who I thought I was before I went on this trip. This coming back experience goes beyond the challenges of reverse culture shock to having to completely re-shape how I was going to live, act, think, and see the world. Sure, crying on my bedroom floor for about a day after I got back gave me an outlet for some of the raw waves of conflicting emotion I was swamped in. But how was I supposed to assmeble something that palely resembled a "normal" life after this? Obviously, I should have learned by then that "normal" no longer applies, ever.
This process of continuing my life has taken a long time. Even to this day, I'll have a flashback to a moment on that magical island, or I'll realize just how differently I approach the world because of all the experiences I had that shaped me. Part of the difficulty I face/d is/was that I wasn't just re-creating my life (there was no earthly way I was going to be able to go back to just being the person I had once been) but I was undergoing an almost constant cycle of re-evaluation of and addition to my life.
One of the most important aspects of coming back is that I have never truly left Cuba behind. All of my memories, letters/gifts, and e-mails to Kenny keep me tied to that amazing place. In a lot of ways, they keep me sane and aware of what's truly important in this sea of routine and normality here. In a lot of ways, embracing what I learned on that trip has helped me keep going.
Eventually, I hope to return to Cuba. I don't know when or under what circumstances that return will be. I don't know how much the places I visited, grew, laughed, learned, and connected with will have changed. Frankly, I don't know how much I will have changed as I've been through college, another phenomenal trip abroad, and whatever else life has in store for me. However, if there is one thing that I can count on, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is that I will be able to return to one of the most unique families I have ever had the honor of being a part of. And that, is something I am forever grateful for =^. .^=